WASTEMORELAND PUTS DOWN ALASKA
Berkeley Barb, March 13-19

Barb Exclusive: General Wastemoreland and his bride are splitting to Hopiland for their honeymoon because Alaska is too radioactive. General will be free to go, because he beat his TDA demonstration “disturbing the peace” rap Wednesday.

The Rocket-bedecked General - whose thing is disturbing the war, not the peace - got it together with former teacher Elizabeth Schwartz in psychedelic ecumenical rites last Saturday at University Church.

But things didn’t go off without a hitch at the hitching time – Wastemorland and best man General Hershey Bar spent too much time on the Avenue looking for confetti poppers for the 21-gun salute, and showed up half an hour late. 150 guests were waiting including many celebrities among the street people.

Tying the peace-knot were Dick York of the Free Church, Rev. Mike Likin of the Episcopal Church Berkeley, Bishop Isaac Bonewits of the Universal Life Church, and his Holiness Pope Morris Kight of the Holiness Church for the liberation of Love and Peace.
Providing pacifistic sounds were Peace, Bread, and Land Band, Seatrain and Benson Brothers, plus Jane Califf, antiwar guitarist.

A five-letter (not layer) cake spelling the work “peace” highlighted the ceremony from its position of honor at the alter and led the procession over to Provo Park following the rites.

Unfortunately, the eclipse of the sun which heralded the general’s wedding that morning was echoed by the eclipse of the band, which didn’t make the park scene.

The Alaskan honeymoon is off thanks to a warning from General Cretin A-bombs saying that “it might be safer for me to visit Hopi Indians – my favorite, they’re so peaceful.” – instead of going to Alaska, because there’s so much atom bomb testing up there.

The General reports he has a special invitation from Chief (xxx) Katchongva of Hoteville, Arizona the traditional Hopi village because of his book on the destruction of the Hopi culture, “To Kill Katchina”.

While on the subject of honeymoons, Wastemoreland emphatically denied the Chronicle’s report that he was competing with John and Yoko with his planned six-month in bed for peace.

“I’m not in competition with John Lennon! Love is a thing shared by everyone. Its groovy, beautiful thing, not the sort of thing to compete about.” He emphatically declared.

And another thing about the honeymoon. It definitely won’t be hung up by the Law. Wednesday, Judge Mario Barsotti of Berkeley Municipal Court dismissed the charge on motion of the district attorney, not as a “wedding gift” as the judge jokingly suggested, but for lack of evidence against the peaceful General.

But here won’t be any false arrest suit either, he said, because as a condition of dropping the silly charges they made him sign a statement that he wouldn’t sue over the arrest or the beating he suffered. – while handcuffed by the hands – and claps of the Officers.
He signed it because “I am tired of court …..